You know the truth but no one else believes you. this is because he is such a charmer, such a good believer in his own lies. You see red. His face is red, the room has blanketed in a red hue associated with some cheap brother, ironically. You want to lash out. It takes every inch of will power not to smash his smug face in.
He calls you crazy. You are crazy. You are crazy in love with a man that wants nothing more than to hurt you, for some reason you cannot fathom. He calls you crazy. He is crazy to call you that, if he knew better he would shut the hell up, pack his bags and leave you the hell alone.
He doesn't know any better because he never truly listens. He doesn't listen to the faint sound of despair in your angry, shrill voice. He doesn't acknowledge the pain behind your eyes and he fails to see the effect he has on you.
As always you deduce from his untucked shirt and stale smell of cologne that he has been out all night and not alone. He tells you another line, another incredible story of an event so stupid it's almost believable.
This time you have had it. This time is the last you tell yourself. This time you are at the end of your fading tether. You repeat this in your head as you scream your obscenities at him.
He does whatever he pleases and this is where the frustration stems. The fact that you end up alone and angry on a regular occasion. This time is the last, you tell yourself again and again. The rage is too great and your disdain for this pathetic man standing before you is too great, you say to yourself.
In this angry discussion, she has never looked so beautiful. The sweat glistens off of her brow and her golden hair flows effortlessly down her back. As he stares at her in mid-rant, he forgets what it is about her that he frequently uses to justify his behaviour.
She looks better than ever before. During their time together he glimpses her inner beauty here and there but she rarely allows him to see it anymore. He brushes past her without a second look and goes about his business because he has to, because she refuses to let her guard down anymore. She is negative. She has lost the energy he once loved about her.
In moments like this, he sees the beauty behind her angry passion. She looks crazy but she has that energy that makes him want her more than anyone in the world. He forgets what he ever hated about her in that one frivolous moment.
This behaviour becomes a circular destruction of a once loving relationship.
This behaviour is the demise of society and expands the divide between men and women even further.
Women seem to change once comfortable, they forget their frivolous nature when they first met their love. Men then decide to take matters in their own hands and avoid the subject but manage to get their needs elsewhere. Sometimes the roles are reversed. Sometimes the pair do the same thing to each other yet still remain in a loveless relationship.
Whichever way it happens, it isn't healthy but it makes people feel alive. It makes people feel stupid but human. It makes them feel wanted and loved. It makes them feel something, anything...
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| Magritte - Lovers: Photo Credit |
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